February 2012
75 posts
2 tags
Giving Up Beer for Lent
Just kidding. I’m giving up Tumblr. See you’s guys in forty days and forty nights.
If you wanna talk to me, I has the Facebook and the Skype (though I have never, ever used it and I don’t even know if I know how). Better tell me now if you wanna stay in touch. I would seriously love you for it.
When I come back, I plan to have a fancy camera and all of my pictures won’t...
3 tags
WatchOne of my Tumblr friends, Marc, told me he likes watching girls eat ice cream. Which reminded me that I had ice cream. I’m showing my gratitude to him by uploading this video.
P.S. I took my hair down to make it sexier. Isn’t that how it works when you’re a womern?
P.P.S. In case you’re curious, I kept grinning at my cat because he was longingly watching me eat my ice...
1 tag
Man...
iamsancho replied to your post: A Few of My Favorite Things
Do it.
I might just. You’ve inspired me with your naked lady blog. Now I wanna reblog what turns me on. Like these sexy fellas:
My cat is so fat.
A Few of My Favorite Things
I would like to start a blog dedicated to men with beards and their cats and/or babies. Nothing pleases me more.
2 tags
My Life, Part 11
Me: I know we ate pizza last night, but I really want more pizza.
West: It will make us feel empty and malnourished.
Me: We didn't feel that way last night, though.
West: Yeah, but that's because we had pizza, beer, and sex.
Me: We could have all of those things again.
West: *Stares at me wide-eyed*
Me: We could even... watch The Godfather at the same time.
West: Slow down or I'm gonna jizz.
3 tags
1 tag
"Teambo" has Officially Reformed
blake500 replied to your post: Blah
:( You two seem so cute, like a swell team, a great combo, a TEAMBO!
We had it out until the issue was resolved. Fights suck, of course, but after the fight, it’s always the best. You’ve got yourself a lady; I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. =)
3 tags
Blah
Boyfriend hurt my feelings last night, or pride, or some other insubstantial but invaluable part of me. He is the most frustrating person I know.
I don’t want to sleep in the same bed with him, or cook dinner with him, or comment on his art or poetry, or talk philosophy, or live in the same house with him if he is going to keep being an oblivious hypochondriac that has all of his...
WatchI was going through files I have on my computer that I haven’t looked at in a while and I found this video I sneakily took of West laying on top of me. What I was hoping to do was get some snippets of him talking so I could show people what he’s like. The thing is, when people lay on me, it makes me laugh like a maniac. I’m weird, y’all. My body is weird.
2 tags
Werq
I was looking through our library event photos from this weekend and found one of me:
There are 768 photos from this weekend and the only one I’m in I’m eating, of course. The only way this could have been more apt if there was a thought bubble that said, “Sexsexsexsexsexesexsex…”
Feel free to look at the other 767 photos to see what my job is like and what...
1 tag
My Life, Part 10
Me: It's about that time again--Jurassic Park time. What is it about that movie that makes you want to watch it every single day?
West: I think it's only like that with you and your brother.
Me: I can hear the theme song in my head right now! It's so good.
West: It's kind of a boring melody if you take away the dinosaurs.
Me: That song is going to be in my wedding.
West: No... it's not.
3 tags
Thanks
To all you folks who informed me that some turds had hacked into my page. Y’all are swell!
6 tags
7 tags
Stuff
Today was a day for certain things:
Being thrown to the sharks at work
Fancy gallery opening food at work
Gettin’ complimented on this tacky necklace at work:
Spending an embarrassingly long time trying to take a good photo of the tacky-ass necklace (ass-necklace?) after work, then giving up
Drinking a good ol’ PBR after work
Work
I also talked to Justin at work. He’s...
4 tags
1 tag
Oh My God
I love men.
4 tags
Woo!
I just made West’s Valentine’s Day card:
It’s janky. I don’t curr.
4 tags
1 tag
Never Have I Ever...
…known how to dress for work. If you were out and you saw this, would you think that it looked good or would you think, “That girl need to go home”?
I always feel like someone who has never been out in society and who tries to dress fashionably based entirely on aural description.
All I got from West was, “You look like a librarian. Why don’t you just go naked?...
3 tags
Weird Things About Being a Woman, Part 2
Every time I see a guy in his pajamas, I’m like, “I have a crush on you.” Who even knows why.
1 tag
1 tag
Day 22 - A letter to someone who means a lot to...
cropcirclebrain:
Hmmmm.
Dear Hannah,
I love you so. You’re the best sister in the entire world and you’re also one of my closest friends. You give the best advice and you were there when I during my awkward years. I was making bad decisions. I don’t really know how to describe this well, but you made me feel like I belonged somewhere for the first time in my life.
Just saw this for the first...
1 tag
Breffust
I was going to start out complaining about how the spare bedroom at West’s parents’ house has one of the most uncomfortable beds I’ve ever slept in, but then I smelled bacon cooking downstairs. It follows that I will be leaving you with this instead:
Bed, Y'all
’S’late!
1 tag
Listen.
I have been seeing a lot of lonesome people who are sad about spending another Valentine’s Day alone, and I’d just like to say two things that will probably make you feel better:
This Valentine’s Day will be the fifth Valentine’s Day that I’ve had in my current relationship and as far as celebrating it goes, we have done rat dick.
Go read about the real (14) St....
1 tag
My Life, Part 9
Me: *Pretends to be writing a paper, but is actually on Tumblr*
Boyfriend: *Comes at me with hoodie over head* Oh, no. It's the ghost of Hannah-get-your-goddamn-work-done! *Turns to his cat* Sushi, why don't you ever wear panties?
3 tags
—Victoria de Los Angeles, O Mio Babbino...
2 tags
Watch
Accent Challenge! • Your name and username. • Where you’re from. • Pronounce the following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Pajamas, Caught, Naturally, Aluminium, GIF, Tumblr, Crackerjack, Doorknob, Envelope, GPOY. • What is it called when you...
1 tag
1 tag
Dude
My webcam has a “low light” setting. Proof!
There are no lights on in the room. That luminescence is actually from West’s computer. What?!
1 tag
Weird Things About Being a Woman
My purse got stolen in August last year
In a nutshell, that means my birth control pills got stolen
This effed up my cycle quite a bit
But because I have had my lady time every Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday since I started having lady times in 1999, I decided to start my new pack of birth control a week early to change the time of the month which that would normally occur
Now my lady...
1 tag
Me Gusta
Just got my first paycheck since I got promoted.
I celebrated with extra Taco Bell. It was gone before I even got home from work.
2 tags
In that Usual Place...
…between feeling pretty today:
…and feeling I look like Lucille Ball when she makes this face:
Oh well. She was a classy lady.
2 tags
2 tags
My Life, Part 8
West: Imma give you a kiss.
Me: Ooookay. *Puts hands on neck, pulls in, kisses mightily with tongue*
West, referring to my recent case of tonsillitis: Are you better?
Me: I am!
West: That means... so many things... for me.
1 tag
The Antichrist--I Found Him
macaroniandnothing answered your question: Beer Cheese Soup
100% chance i gag on that spoon. why ruin a perfectly good soup (and beer lol!) with cheese????
Everyone go harass this person. S/he has a Tumblr dedicated to hating cheese.
4 tags
Beer Cheese Soup
Wanna come over for dinner?
3 tags
—Mariee Sioux, Silent Be the Way
Feeling...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Didn’t have space in that last...
cropcirclebrain:
In two paragraphs, I have fallen in love with you. You are a massage therapist for horses?! That’s probably one of the best jobs ever. This is such a great ask, probably the best I’ve ever received. I love hearing about people from all over. I actually have a friend living in Colorado and I’m very envious of his life because he is going to New Zealand next winter for his job....
2 tags
If You Were a Mermaid...
…I was the sea.
I am missing my friend. This is a tribute to you.
The associations that I have with you are such that, I may be (and usually am) triggered by thoughts of you constantly throughout the day. Here are some examples:
The phrase “Coke Classic”
Pining for Bill Murray’s body
Fantasizing about sleeping/bathing in/wearing your favorite foods
Jagermeister
...
Bikini
I am overwhelmed by the swimsuit options that currently loom before me on the internet.
3 tags
Bad Habits, Part 1
Simulating oral sex with beer bottles. I used to do it to piss off my boyfriend, but now I just do it because of some latent oral fixation. Going to bars with me is awkward. Just don’t do it.
3 tags
1 tag
West, listening to Gosts: This music makes me feel like a robot that was just granted a soul.